Heartbreakingly Lucky

My dad once told me that very few people ever meet their soulmate, that finding that kind of love is rare and special. So many things happen between humans that I tend to write off as biological necessity- babies are cute because it's all they have to survive. People fall in love because they have to multiply to propogate the species. But one thing I can't explain are people falling in love and staying together. Monogamy doesn't biologically make sense. The pain and fragility that comes with being dependent on another person to be happy does not make sense. Love does not make sense.

My grandparents have been together for 65 years. I can't imagine being that old, much less being with someone that long. Until my grandfather started having trouble walking, he would open every door for my grandmother, and now she holds every door open for him. They call each other "darling" and tease each other like kids. My grandfather has had to move to a different unit because Grandmama can't take care of him at night anymore, and it's tearing them apart.

You are so lucky if you find someone to be such a faithful partner, but it can cause so much pain. We were looking at old photographs with my grandmother last visit, and there was a picture of her and Grandpapa in college, standing arm in arm in a doorway, smiling at each other. And she talked about how vividly she could still feel that day, how intensely happy she was. This visit my mom brought a picture of Grandmama from college to put in Grandpapa's room, and Grandpapa took one look at it and started to cry. That's the problem with love, you don't live for yourself anymore. And sometimes that seems to be harder than living alone.