Friday, November 30, 2007

Blue Vested Hell

This blog is brought to you today by Danny. As a new effort on the part of my "PR people", I am including a reader request blog, if I ever get any reader requests. Danny isn't the most up to date reader of my blog, but he happens to be sitting next to me at the moment, so he got the first request. He said "write about walmart."

The Walmart at my house makes me crazy. It is constantly completely packed. No matter how early or late I go there, there are hordes of people with drooling screaming children in their shopping carts. They stand in the middle of the aisle and don't move, even when you are actively pushing yourself around them. They park their carts diagonally by a display and glare at you when you move it over so you can squeeze by. They push you aside if you happen to be standing in front of the item they want. They get up to the cash register and then argue about the price of each item they have. And they have 300 items. And after the cashier has finished ringing them up, they remember they need diet pepsi.

I can go into Walmart feeling calm and at peace with the world, and come out a raving maniac. I find myself getting more and more aggressive in there. I've started playing chicken with the people who walk two abreast and take up the whole aisle. When someone pushes me, I push back. One of these days I'll end up run over by a shopping cart. Or I'll end up one of those people you hear about on the news, who loses it when someone takes the last bottle of Pantene Pro-V and begins whacking them over the head with one of those pool noodles.

If you hear about someone taking hostages in a Walmart, please come bail me out of jail :)
Also, if you have a subject you would like me to blog about, leave me a comment and I promise to write about it.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


I took my stats final today, and am done with the class I dreaded the most this semester. Not only that, I got a 91% in the class! Makes me wish I didn't have to take it as pass/fail. Let's assume that the reason I did so well is because I have MAD STATS SKILLZ, not that the class was super easy. Once I calculated my score, I ran up on this mountain to proclaim it to the world:

Honey, How Was Your Day- the one-upmanship version

Me: I'm so tired. I had to spend an hour negotiating snack time with a six year old today.
Him: I had to assess a $20,000 claim today.
Me: Did the person filing the claim scream and throw things at you?
Him: I haven't told her it's been denied yet.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Miss Doom and Gloom

My last (first) post was a bit depressing, wasn't it? I didn't intend it to be, but sometimes things just come out and you don't expect it to. So today you get pictures of the happiest creature on Earth- Hiccup.

This picture is of Hiccup and his best friend, Catsby our ugly, evil cat. I like to think of this picture as the best example of the personality differences between cats and dogs.
The above picture is actually a low moment for him. We got him neutered, and then he kept scratching the stitches with his back paws (he's flexible) so I had to put socks on him. He had trouble walking in them.
He's an excellent snuggle partner...
And he loves car trips. We call him our Navi-Puppy.

That's more cheerful, isn't it? I certainly feel better. I'm going to go forcibly snuggle my puppy now :)

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Gosh, my first blog on my new blog site. How exciting! You will notice I've included a list of other sites that I visit on a regular basis, as well as an alphabetized list of interests that were generated totally through stream of conscious.

I've been thinking a lot about everything that happened in 2006, mainly Danny's father getting cancer and dying by the end of the year, and feeling like I had enough deep thoughts and emotions in that year to last me a while. As the anniversary of his death grows closer, I find myself thinking of him more and more. During Thanksgiving last year, he went back into the hospital for the last time before his death. My parents came down and saw him for the last time. We were all so happy because the infection in his throat had finally subsided and he was able to eat some of the food his sister made for Thanksgiving. He was insistent that my parents and I join his sister and her family for Thanksgiving dinner even though we wanted to stay with him. He wanted us to be a part of his family. I remember right after that I got a cold, and couldn't see him for a while. I remember feeling a little relieved that I couldn't, because it was so hard to see him suffer. One of the many things I will always regret. People who say they have no regrets in life, are either lying, are heartless, or are too mentally healthy to be allowed in public.
I've also been thinking a lot about forgiveness. We were talking about in class as an important aspect of growth and healing, and damn am I bad at it. I've always been too sensitive, and to protect myself from having my feelings hurt, I get angry instead. And I hold grudges for years. It takes so much energy to stay angry at someone, but yet it seems so difficult to let go of that anger. Maybe because I'm worried that letting go of the anger will leave me vulnerable to be hurt. In class we talked about how forgiveness is not about the person you are forgiving, it's entirely a process within yourself. By forgiving I'm not giving the person any more power over me, but it feels like it.
I think I segued from Frank to forgiveness, because I want to think that he would forgive me for not being there in his last weeks. But Frank was so much like me in that respect- he was sensitive, and his feelings were easily hurt, and he held grudges for years. One of the beautiful things I got to witness in his last months was his forgiveness. He talked to people he had been mad at for reasons they couldn't even remember anymore. He told people he loved them. He let us care for him, and he thanked us. So, maybe, he would forgive me. Maybe he would understand that the reason I had such a hard time was because I loved him. Because he called himself my dad, and I felt like he was in many ways. Maybe he would understand. I wish he could tell me if he forgave me, so that I knew whether or not I can forgive myself.