Wednesday, May 14, 2008

10 We-ahd Things You Don't Know About Me

...According to my husband:

I was tagged by Jenny (I do not know how link to her blog) to write ten weird things people don't know about me. And whenever I say the word weird in my head I say it "we-ahd" like my little cousin in law who can't say his r's. I don't know why, I just do. Maybe that's number one. Anyway, because I generally am not even aware of the odd things that I do, this list will be composed by my husband, as he is the first person to call my awareness to, and then laugh at, my we-ahdness.
1. "You do the pee-pee dance when you're bored or you think no one is looking". Yes, I do. I jiggle my knees and bounce up and down without thinking about it. No, I usually don't have to pee when I do this.
2. "You people watch so much sometimes you walk into things." People fascinate me. And I like to analyze their character based on their choice of outfit that day. Then I run into a wall.
......and that's all he could think of. Granted, he's working on the brakes to his truck and not focusing on me like he should be, but still. I'm weirder than that. I will continue with my own list:
3. I hiccup multiple times every day and have so since I was in my mother's womb. Usually after eating.
4. I have tourette's syndrom, but only in my head. I think of horrible sexist, racist, insulting, vulgar things to say in response to commercials on TV.
5. I hate the feeling of water drying on my skin. Danny tortures me by licking my skin and then blowing air on the saliva. One of those gross things they don't tell you really constitutes a marriage.
6. When hungover the only food I will eat is a sourdough jack from jack in the box with no ketchup and no bacon. If they mess up the order I won't eat it.
7. I'd rather drive a beat up old car than my current mercedes so I don't have to worry about taking care of it.
8. I can't walk over grates or bridges that I can see the ground through. Yes, just like a cow.
9. When I'm really, really tired I feel like sucking my thumb. One time I tried it just to see if it would be comforting and it felt strange.
10. I get random words stuck in my head and repeat them over and over in my head. Or phrases. I can get songs stuck in my head for days at a time. One time I had "Love Shack" stuck in my head for a week. I'm still paranoid about hearing that song.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

And This Little Piggy Came Home

Yesterday we went for a walk in the desert around the neighborhood with the dogs. We looked at all the cacti in bloom, admired the birds and rabbits, and generally marveled at our good fortune.

Then, as we lay snug in our beds, content in the serenity that comes with living in the middle of nowhere, someone knocked on our door. At 3am. Not an angry knock, a relatively polite knock, but still alarming considering the time of day. Of course I am the only one who hears the knock. Our trusty 7 lb watchdog, whose only useful function is the fact that he barks when someone knocks on the door, did nothing. I think my husband was slightly excited at this opportunity because he got to stride to the door, cock his huge pistol, and defend his property. He says he heard something or someone scurrying away from the door, but that it didn't sound human. We then lay quivering in bed, debating the animal who makes knocking noises vs. deranged axe murder who makes knocking noises. Meanwhile, the cat was busy making every possible "I'm breaking into your house" sound she could think of: thumps, scratching noises like a lock pick, crashing sounds, etc. And Siva, excited by the possibility that we might play with her in the middle of the night, starting throwing things around in the backyard. Every time one of our charming animals did something, we would lie perfectly still, and then analyze the acoustic properties of the sound:
Mia: That sounded like Siva throwing her water dish.
Danny: Or someone shaking the back door. It sounded metallic.
Mia: No, metal is higher pitched. That was a "thunk" like plastic.

And so on. Needless to say we didn't get much sleep. Today, I go to work and talk to one of my co-workers about our early morning adventure. And she says, and I quote:
"Dude! It's the pigs!"
.....huh? Apparently, her tia lives in the neighborhood and she used to think someone was harrassing her in the middle of the night. Turns out the javelina were going up to her front door and crashing into it with their tusks because they don't have good eyesight. As I thought about it, it made sense. Our trash cans are right by the front door, and are overflowing because we haven't been able to get our trash service set up. Danny heard a scurrying, not a running. And Hiccup simply slept through the whole thing, probably exhausted by having to fend off Siva all day.

Our first desert adventure....we're in for some sleepless nights.