Music to Die By

I am now 26. So far, it's no different from 25 except that I think I'm about 5 lbs heavier since Friday from all the EATING. But I'm glad. Because I've been working my butt off at work, on the house, and at school, and I deserved a weekend of eating girl scout cookies, hamburgers, popcorn and yes, AN ENTIRE BAG of cheese puffs.

I got to go to Sea World for the first time, since my childhood was not spent on traditional vacations to amusement parks, and instead was spent sleeping in frozen tents and peeing behind bushes, this was my first Sea World Experience. We skipped the various showes after watching a guy in a cowboy hat, short shorts and a guitar prance around the stage singing about dolphins. We did see Shamu, because you just can't miss Shamu despite the cheesy presentation. And I got to pet the bat rays which was awesome.

We also had some fun campfire times. They were primarily fun because Jenny was there, and Jenny makes every conversation entertaining, surreal, and x-rated. Some of the things we learned about Jenny over the weekend are:

1. She has 13 vaginas
2. They operate much in the way automatic sprinklers work
3. She can play approximately 1 1/2 chords on her guitar, but very enthusiastically and for prolonged periods of time.
4. The hearing of these chords by someone who knows how to play the guitar will cause the chords to be dubbed "music to die by".
5. She can fit 10 layers of clothing on her body but will not be able to hear you through ten hats/hoods
6. She is the only person for whom LA actually IMPROVED her driving.
7. When she buys a tent, she will buy a nylon antebellum mansion with a sleeping porch, dining room, and our tents will merely function as outlaying slave quarters.
8. When she farts, she farts $2 bills. She will forget this fact numerous times throughout the weekend, thus nullifying all of our brilliant jokes about money making schemes.
9. She does not like meat, because it bleeds. She eats fish. Because....it.....doesn't bleed?
10. She does not want children, but if she does she wants to adopt an older child that has already been fucked up, so she doesn't have as much work to do.

We were planning on leaving on Sunday, but I grew sadder and sadder as we drove through San Diego so when I saw a Motel 6 I sniffled convincingly and persuaded Danny to stay another day. On Monday I spent the morning standing on a beach in La Jolla feeling absolutely happy and at peace and like I could spend every day of the rest of my life right there. I'm usually kinda tired and ready to go home after a weekend but this time I was just depressed about having to go back to a dry, brown desert where I can't pick flowers and swim with fish and enjoy wonderful weather all the time. The traffic is terrible, the people are crazy, and it may fall into the ocean at any second, but jiminy cricket I'd love to live by an ocean.